A while back I was faced with one of those life dilemmas that pop up every so often.
In the course of living, I have occasionally found myself at odds with someone over issues and perceptions of issues. In my frustration over situations that seem to get worse rather than better over time, I would sometimes talk about my frustration or situation with other people. It was not my intention to hurt the people I had issues with or malign them in doing this, but it was often perceived that way.
I call it “leakage”.
If personal situations or disputes in our lives are not handled quickly and correctly, we often reap consequences beyond what we would normally expect.
Things have to be dealt with correctly in order to keep us from leaking out our feelings and frustrations.
That’s the difference between having been listened to and really being heard.
I have known people who will listen to anything you have to say about a subject or situation. Even if what you are pointing out is a perceived weakness or a criticism of sorts. You leave the conversation thinking that things have been taken care of and the relational frictions will disappear. However, it often only takes a few weeks to realize that nothing is happening and that things have actually gotten worse.
After having reached several of these “dead-ends” during the past year, I have learned what it means to leave somethng up to God.
When we have reached the end of what we feel we can bring to an area of conflict, it’s time to get out of Dodge and trust that by leaving it alone, God can do His best work.
We have to leave our judgments as well. Repent of them if we have made them and move on. There is a very important lesson to be learned here.
What you judge, you will become. It’s like gravity…you don’t have to understand it to know that it works.
When we make judgements towards someone or something, we lock that situation away from God’s judgement, which is always true and made from a whole different perspective than ours.
This dynamic works most often in relation to parents and kids. A son judges his dad for being harsh and lo and behold becomes that which he judged. It may take years to manifest itself and by the time it does, the behaviour doesn’t seem attached to any particular thing or event.
These types of behaviours become what we call generational…passed on from one to another until broken by forgiveness and repentance.
In the situations I have found my self in, I have chosen to forgive and bless and in so doing move on with a life that is much too short to carry around that sort of baggage.
Life is a much better “ride” that way.
What do you think?