There are times in our lives (at least in mine) where a light comes on, or a door opens, unto an understanding of how our minds work and how we process the many bits and pieces of information we are confronted with on a daily, moment by moment basis.
At times, this information input can be overwhelming and lead to a sense of frustration and we might ask: what do we do with all this stuff we are thinking about?
In one of those magical marriage moments last night, talking with my wife Sandi, I began to unpack a few thoughts that just seemed to pop up for that very moment and that moment alone.
I realized, as I began to talk and explore, that of all the pictures and information I gather each day, I really only share perhaps a very small amount of it with her, and likewise, her with me as well. It is interesting how our brains relegate an order of importance to the days input events and we are left with a distillation of them at days end.
And I guess, anymore than the few things we are left with, would be more than we could handle from a practical perspective.
One of the ideas that I explored that evening was whether or not we have the ability to live an intentional or purposeful life every moment of every day. In other words, can we move forward in the moment with intent or direction and awareness of who we are and how we fit into the overall scheme of things. And all this with without feeling overloaded or having the need to dump or unload these thoughts and feelings on someone else.
From personal experience, I will admit that feeling overwhelmed can lead to a place of self-medication, which can then lead to dependence or addiction.
I think recently watching the latest version of “A Star Is Born” might have had something to do with my recent state of mind. Watching a talented musician wreck his life with alcohol and drugs, was not a pretty thing to see on the screen. We can understand why he took his own life, knowing that he had little or no control over his addictions and that the end result would be his detrimental effect of his wife’s career.
I recently fell and broke my hip and as I fell onto the concrete in the back parking lot of a local Walmart, I believe I heard God say, as I hit the ground and was aware of my condition, “I have saved your life!” What I thought this meant at the time and what this means to me now, is still somewhat the same, yet has changed in depth and understanding.
I knew my fondness for red wine had gone beyond what it should be, but until the other evening, was not fully aware of what this habit had done to dull my mind and thoughts. As I talked with Sandi, I was aware that my mind was clearer than it had been in some time and this was also a part of what “saving my life” had meant.
When bad habits begin to control us, our purpose seems to muddy itself and our follow through is not as intentional as it should or can be.
Sort of like this: I like growing things but do not always follow through with intent or purpose. In growing cabbage, the purpose is to create sauerkraut or Kimchi. Many times I haven’t keep the worms from eating my cabbage and as a result, have nothing to work with at the end of the season. The lesson is to not grow more than you can deal with at season’s end and don’t let a week or two go between looking at what your veggies are doing. That’s being “purposeful”.
When I fell, my sense of or awareness of where I was and what I was doing was most likely dulled to a degree and allowed me to lose my footing and fall and break my hip.
Yet in that breaking, something also broke in my life, which in so doing, has cleared the path for me for what is to come. No pain, no gain, and I can say that this one event was the most painful thing I have ever experienced. And for weeks afterward, as I had to use a walker and sleep in a recliner because it was to painful to get into my bed.
Through the whole ordeal, I have had the sense of this event being a blessing rather than a curse and this has helped me during those early days of pain and frustration. Yes, there were moments of crying and despair, but realizing that there was a purpose in my accident, helped to mediate the pain and helplessness I felt.
God really does cause all things to work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His “purpose”. Romans 8:28