What I know about dreams and what they mean can fit neatly into an extra small coffee cup—the kind like those upscale shops use to put a shot of espresso. One gulp and it’s finished.
What I do know is that I do dream and sometimes when I wake in the middle of one, I remember the content and the feelings associated with whatever it is rambling round my nighttime brain. I can also say without reservation that dreams seem to cycle and re-cycle themselves—often the same feelings seem to be attached to different cerebral scenarios.
Last night I remember dreaming about being in Africa—it is a dream that I have had many times over the past couple of years since I returned from my trip to Tanzania. Although the scene is always somewhat different it is a vivid dream of me being in Africa and being caught off guard as to the timing of my return trip to America.
What I always seem to remember most is the feeling that the day stamped on my return ticket comes and I am not prepared to return. It is always a scramble to get my luggage together and arrange a ride to the airport which is always about an hour or two away from where I am staying. It is as though I am caught unawares by the date and seem unsettled with my ability to get myself to the airport and home again. Like if I don’t the ticket expires and then what do I do.
And this is not to say that I wouldn’t want to stay there in Africa—just that the dynamic of the dream is such that I am always looking at a situation that has no easy solution.
In the past I have never made it to the airport before I woke up—yet last night I not only made it to the airport, but found that the plane itself always arrives several hours later than what the ticket says. So, after much worry, I made it to the airport in time to meet the plane. Then I woke up.
What this says about me and my psyche is really up for grabs. I have wanted to go back to Africa since the very day I landed back in America from that first time. That said, a return trip is not something that you do on a whim—lots of planning and money go into the makeup of that type of journey.
In other words, I have the time, the inclination, but not the where-with-all to make it back.
Sometimes I doubt my sincerity—if I really wanted to go back to Africa that bad (I say to myself) I would save my nickels and dimes and go without that bottle of wine in order to facilitate a faster return trip. Yet even as I allow myself to think about this I realize how hard it is to accomplish everything else it is I want to do and I sort of lay off myself for a season.
I am a man in conflict with his very nature and upbringing. Add to the previous scenario the fact that I would like my wife to go with me and perhaps my 14 year old daughter and things get really complicated.
I guess for now it is enough to know that I finally made it to the airport in my dreams—yet the dream is always me coming back and not leaving for and that I haven’t even begun to comprehend.
In the meantime I hope to get a good nights sleep this very evening and look forward to the weather getting warmer so I can get outside a little more. I guess Africa will take care of itself and that is probably the best I can hope for at this point.
Enjoy today and look forward to another ride—that is what life really comes down to—a place for everything and everything almost making it to the table.
Enjoy your ride today.